Ah lovely, Valentines Day is
here, yes, that is sarcasm you detect! As someone that is more single than a
Pringle (they live in a tub, you cannot be a ‘single pringle’) and being less
of a mingle than those minty chocolates (what happened to them by the way?!) I
have spent the day begrudgingly selling chocolates to boyfriends who ‘forgot’
the date and to women who wanted to get a card on discount…
So, here is my guide to help
everyone that will be ‘celebrating’ Singletines Day along with me this year, I
like to nickname V Day ‘EFF OFF! Day’ - why? Well simply because it’s the one
day a year where us singles openly tell smooshy couples to eff off. Here’s the
top ways to distract yourself from those godawful couples. Singletines, I
salute you.
- Order a take out.
No meal out for us tonight,
no way – let’s not be reminded of our current relationship status, no. Get
yourself a menu and order yourself a big fat greasy take out, plus there’s the
bonus that no one will see you in a restaurant and assume you’re comfort
eating, I do not comfort eat, simply make myself happier with a plethora of
meals.
- Dogs are a Singletines best friend.
Nothing makes life more
complete than a pup. I personally believe a French Bulldog or a Pug are more
than adequate at showing love and affection, their adorable little faces will
light up your life. However, careful you don’t go overboard; no one likes a
crazy pug person.
- DO NOT DRINK
Alcohol is strictly forbidden
today, we all know what will happen, you’ll promise to just have the one
however, one glass (bottle) of wine and a few voddy’s later you suddenly decide
to give your ex or your dream partner a ring or even just a text, well, we all
know the disaster that goes on from here, so no alcohol!
I really hope this helps,
you can do it Singletine! I just sure hope next year you can tell your story of
how you used to be a Singletine!
